I’m sure that at least once in your life you’ve looked for a way to lose a few kilos, especially around your waist. And if you’re approaching your 40s, that challenge often comes with an additional issue: bloating.
Almost every article online or video from a fitness coach will tell you that you need to be in a calorie deficit. Personally, whenever I hear the phrase calorie deficit, I automatically roll my eyes a little.
These days, a calorie deficit is presented as a universal solution and the “gold standard” of weight loss—as if no results are possible without it. The message is always the same: eat less, exercise more, and that’s it.
In practice, it often works like this: someone—or an online calculator—estimates how many calories you need to maintain your weight. Then you subtract 500 calories a day (another magical number everyone seems to use), and supposedly you’re on track to lose 2 kg per month.
And suddenly your life becomes this:
Counting.
Adding.
Subtracting.
Tracking apps.
Panic-logging every bite you eat.
Feeling guilty because you went 150 calories over your target.
And after all that time, you still haven’t achieved the results you wanted.
But here’s another question: what if the problem isn’t how much you eat, but how you live?
A calorie deficit isn’t really a strategy. It’s the outcome of everything you do.
Yes, body fat reduction requires a calorie deficit.
That’s physiology.
But it certainly won’t happen simply by eating less and less.
The body adapts very quickly. When you drastically reduce calories, your body learns to function on less energy. It begins slowing processes down and becomes more efficient at conserving energy. Over time, every extra calorie seems like a surplus. At the same time, digestion, hormone production and overall wellbeing can suffer, creating even more complications.
And another thing… how do you even know how many calories you should eat?
Sure, you can use a calculator.
It takes into account:
- Height
- Weight
- Age
- Sex
- An estimated daily activity level
It then calculates your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)—the number of calories your body needs to support essential functions and keep your organs working—and multiplies it by an activity factor.
And that’s it.
But that same calculator has no idea:
- What your body fat percentage is
- How much lean muscle mass you have
- What level of physical fitness you’re in
- What your hormonal status looks like
- How much—and how well—you sleep
- How much stress you deal with every day
- What a typical day looks like for you
- How well you recover and rest
One day you might do a workout.
Another day you might walk far more than usual.
And some days you might barely leave your bed.
Yet somehow your calorie target is supposed to remain exactly the same every day!
Why does your body composition matter?
Because body fat burns very little energy at rest.
Muscle tissue is metabolically active.
Two women:
- The same height
- The same weight
- The same age
…can have completely different daily energy expenditures if one has more lean muscle mass while the other has a higher percentage of body fat.
The calculator doesn’t know any of that. It simply gives you a number.
And then you spend your time obsessing over it and driving yourself crazy.
So what’s the solution?
You need to make your body more metabolically active.
By building muscle, moving more, and fuelling it with the right foods.
1. Include strength training. And no, its purpose isn’t simply to burn calories.
Lean muscle mass:
- Burns more energy at rest
- Helps maintain bone density
- Improves insulin sensitivity
- Supports healthy hormone function
- Protects your joints
- Preserves vitality and mobility as you age
Muscles aren’t just an aesthetic bonus.
A woman who strength trains isn’t doing it solely for “muscle tone”.
She’s investing in her future health.
2. Pay attention to NEAT—the calorie burner everyone talks about but few actually put into practice
What is NEAT?
Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis.
It sounds complicated, but it simply refers to all movement that isn’t formal exercise.
Research shows that women over the age of 35 often burn more calories through these everyday activities than through structured workouts.
And it can be as simple as:
- Parking a little further away from home or work
- Walking to the market or grocery store
- Taking the stairs instead of the lift
- Walking while talking on the phone
- Standing up every 45 minutes at work and taking a few steps around the office
Because when your only focus is cutting calories, you miss out on the benefits of movement.
And movement matters because:
- Your joints stay functional
- Your lymphatic system works more efficiently
- Circulation improves
- You avoid dramatic energy crashes
- Time outdoors supports vitamin D production
The goal isn’t to eat less and sit more.
The goal is to live more actively and eat appropriately according to your current needs and goals.
3. Increase your protein intake
Protein isn’t just for athletes or highly active people.
In fact, the opposite is true.
The less active a person is—and the older they become—the more important adequate protein intake becomes. As we age, the body becomes less efficient at processing and utilising protein for its many functions.
And no, eating protein won’t make you bulky.
Protein isn’t only needed for strength and skeletal muscle growth.
There are three types of muscle tissue in the body:
- Skeletal muscles (glutes, biceps and other voluntary muscles)
- Cardiac muscle (the heart)
- Smooth muscle (found in the intestines, blood vessels and organs)
The proteins you eat are made up of amino acids, which:
- Build and repair tissues
- Support recovery
- Help regulate immune function
- And, importantly, contribute to the production of neurotransmitters
Everything you hear about dopamine being important for motivation, serotonin influencing mood, and oxytocin supporting connection and bonding—all of it depends on amino acids.
When you consistently undereat and remain in a constant state of restriction, you’re not just eating fewer calories.
You’re also compromising recovery and providing your body with fewer building blocks to produce the chemicals that influence your mood, focus and overall wellbeing.
And calories are never all the same.
No matter how often you read that “a calorie is a calorie”—it isn’t that simple.
Eating a bag of crisps is not the same as eating potatoes.
Eating a protein bar is not the same as eating a serving of high-quality meat or fish.
The numbers may look identical.
Even the macronutrients may appear similar.
But from a biological perspective, these foods are not equal.
So instead of asking:
“How many calories did I eat today?”
Try asking yourself:
Did I do some resistance training today?
Did I move enough?
Did I eat enough protein?
Am I treating my body with care or punishing it?
Who am I spending time with, and how does that affect my energy and wellbeing?
Women are far too complex to judge their health solely by the number of calories they consume.
If you feel stuck in a cycle of counting, restriction and frustration, it may be time to shift your focus—and your approach to both yourself and your health.