Whenever I speak with women over 35 about their goals and challenges, some of the most common things I hear are:
“I want to lose 4–5 kg.”
“I want to get back into great shape.”
“I want to work out four times a week.”
“I want to weigh what I did 15 years ago.”
And when they pursue these goals without a clear plan or gradual steps—trying to do everything they read online on their own—what usually happens?
The first week goes great.
The second week, things start slipping.
By the third week, nothing is being tracked anymore, and that “plan” is often abandoned altogether.
Not because you’re unmotivated or lacking discipline. But because it isn’t really a plan. It’s a goal without any defined steps explaining how you’re actually going to get there.
After 35, that approach rarely works.
Your body changes.
Sleep becomes more sensitive.
You handle stress differently.
Recovery takes longer.
And that’s why your approach needs to change too.
It needs to be gradual.
And it needs to be tailored to you.
A goal on its own isn’t enough.
You also need a vision—and small, realistic actions you can take each week.
Not everything at once.
I often catch myself thinking about all the things I don’t want.
I don’t want to feel exhausted.
I don’t want a bloated stomach.
I don’t want to put pressure on myself, while still wanting to achieve everything I’ve set out to do.
Because I have goals too.
But I rarely used to ask myself what I want today and what I can realistically do this week.
My daily routine has become a practice of gratitude for everything I already have, while consciously directing my daily choices toward a life that genuinely fulfils me.
The same applies to exercise.
Who do I want to train with?
How many times per week?
How do I want to feel after a workout?
The same applies to food.
What do I enjoy eating?
What do I enjoy preparing?
And what doesn’t actually need to be part of my diet at all?
The same applies to daily routines.
For example, even though I have strong discipline, I don’t do cold plunges.
And I don’t take cold showers.
I know they’re trendy.
I know there are benefits.
But personally, they create more stress than value.
And honestly, they annoy me.
At this stage of life, I don’t need another stressor.
I need stability and routines that calm me, support me, and make me feel good.
And that deliver results.
You don’t have to do everything that’s popular.
But it would be helpful to find what you can do to support your body’s optimal function.
You probably remember the story about the jar.
A teacher stands in front of a class with an empty jar and fills it with large rocks.
He asks the students if the jar is full. They say yes.
Then he adds smaller stones.
Then sand.
And somehow, everything still fits.
The same principle applies to your daily routines and the decisions you make about your health and fitness.
If you fill the jar with sand first, there won’t be room for the big rocks.
At this stage of life, your big rocks are probably things like:
- Health
- Sleep
- Strength
- Energy levels
- The people who matter most to you
The sand is made up of hundreds of other small obligations that may drain your energy, stem from perfectionism, or simply come from overthinking.
I’m sure at least three examples come to mind immediately.
And I truly believe that if your life is filled with other people’s expectations first, there’s very little room left for you.
You can do everything. But you don’t have to.
This weekend, take a little time for yourself and think about the following:
First: define your “big rocks”.
Not:
“What number do I want to see on the scale?”
Instead ask yourself:
Do I want stable energy throughout the day?
Do I want to be strong for myself and my children?
Do I want a calmer, more resilient nervous system?
Do I want a healthy body that feels good and looks good in the long term?
Second: choose three priorities. Not ten.
When most women decide to make a change, they often try to change everything at once:
More workouts.
Completely cutting out sugar.
Walking 15,000 steps every day.
Increasing protein intake dramatically (straight to 2 g per kilogram of body weight despite previously eating barely 0.8 g).
Setting boundaries with everyone and saying no to social events because food feels too challenging.
Eliminating bread, pasta and all other carbohydrates.
And all of it starts on Monday.
Do you know how long that usually lasts?
Ten days.
Maybe.
Your body responds far better to consistency and continuity than to extreme intensity.
At first, it may feel frustratingly slow.
But it’s the only approach that truly works.
For one week, it’s enough to focus on:
- Two strength-training sessions
- Protein with every meal
- 7,000–8,000 steps per day
And that’s enough.
Once those habits become routine, you can move on and gradually add other things.
Step by step.
That’s the only way to build the body you want, support healthier hormones, and feel genuinely satisfied with yourself.
A plan should never depend on following it perfectly.
You’ll miss a workout.
You’ll stay up too late watching TV.
You’ll eat dessert.
So what?
That’s life.
You simply keep going and do your best with the circumstances you have at that moment.
The answer is structure—but flexible structure.
Not strict discipline or rigid meal plans that must be followed perfectly.
That’s why I created “Weekly Vision & Reset”.
A resource designed not to give you another overwhelming goal, but to help you identify what truly matters to you and the small steps you can take in the week ahead.
And if you’d like someone to guide you through the entire process and help you distinguish what actually works from what’s simply another trend, Real Life Forma might be exactly what you’re looking for.